Writing To Process Your Military Experience
Podcast Episode 4 - Graham Barnhart
High Impact Segment 31:10 - 38:21
In this segment with Graham we talk about how important context and comparison are when it comes to telling your story.
In Graham’s book, ‘The War Makes Everyone Lonely’, one poem describes a time he laughingly recounted a story from a past deployment to a family member. The story doesn’t land exactly how he thought. To the receiver, it wasn’t funny and was actually quite disturbing.
Part of reintegrating to a life outside the service means spending time around people that lack your context. Our friends and families want to hear from us, but there are some things that will just surpass them. You truly speak another language when you return home.
The good news is that it’s okay. People misunderstanding doesn’t diminish the experience. It doesn’t invalidate your feelings. It’s a reminder to stay connected with those of similar experience and not being afraid to get help if it’s needed.
The other deadly C is comparison.
“You join thinking there will be this checkmark someday.”
The checkmark of satisfaction when it comes to serving your country exists, but it’s an experience. It’s not getting shot. It’s not a rank or a medal. There will always be another person’s accomplishments to measure yourself against.
The checkmark comes when you understand the you’re only measured against your former self.
Were you a more selfless sailor or solider today than you were yesterday?
Did you fulfill your responsibilities more effectively then when you joined?
Make the comparison where it counts.
This Week on the Podcast
This Wednesday, 1.26, you’ll be hearing us speak with Keith Dow and Tyler Carroll of Dead Reckoning Collective. Keith and Tyler, as it turns out, are the Army doppelgängers of Tim and I. The better looking duo of the two has yet to be established.
We speak with them about how DRC started out as a blog and has steadily grown over time to now having published 11 books. DRC also puts on educational workshops and one on one coaching to help veterans put their story together. I mentioned it last week, but I had the chance to participate in their Intro to Memoir class and highly enjoyed it.
We’ve been covering a lot of writing content because we believe in the power of writing. If you write occasionally or have ever been interested in putting together a piece of your own, this will be a great interview for you to hear.
Food for Thought
Had a call from a friend of mine this week that had been offered a major promotion after return to an old job, just after beginning to get comfortable. The excitement was naturally there, but imposter syndrome and fear of exiting the comfort zone had moved in quickly. My advice hinged around one question: how hard of problems do you want to solve in life.
“You get paid in direct proportion to the difficulty of problems you solve.”
Elon Musk
Life isn’t all about money so here’s something more altruistic.
“If you don’t make mistakes, you’re not working on hard enough problems. And that’s a big mistake.”
Frank Wilczek
If you’re not challenged or you ever find yourself ‘bored’ in this life, it might be time for a change.
Stay up
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